Am I being an ungrateful bitch for wanting more in life? Is it too much to want to have a life and a career? Having something going for yourself?

Me and my husband have been married for almost 5 years, when I met him he was so good and the complete opposite of the players and assholes I had dated and gone out with! I was head over hills in love with him and we married 4-5 months after dating! He didn’t have a visa and was an overstayer in the UK, he didn’t tell me this when we first met he told me this after we went out a few times! This wasn’t an issue for me as I felt he was genuine and honest with me, we married and now we have a 3 year old daughter & he got his visa after our baby was born! I feel like I was really stupid and naive when we first met and whilst in was the intense honeymoon phase we moved too quick and married! Now I feel like I don’t really know him, he never talks or opens up to me only talks to me when necessary and gives me details of things that he chooses! We basically have no connection as a couple, he works away all week and comes home on weekends! He is not a bad person and has not treated me badly while I have insulted him a few times and he finally turned back and called me a few names in return which I understand everyone gets fed up and responds back the same way! But I honestly don’t what to do! As I said we have no connection, it was the same when we first met and when I moved in with him in a shared house he would always be with other male house mates which were his friends too, but I was too blind to see it or question if it would be the same forever? As said I was pretty naive! I understand he work away all week for us to bring money for our family and keep a roof over mine & our daughter’s head but we never do anything together! Dates nights/days are out if the window, he never helps me with childcare I always have to cancel things when nurseries are closed or ask my mum to watch my daughter! I work part time but have to always get time off due to childcare! Am I being an ungrateful bitch for wanting a better married life? Or wanting to have a career or enjoy my life?

Well, marrying before living together for a couple of years is like gambling, like you experienced. But, all over the world there are cultures where marriages are arranged and even though that is not ideal, some of them get to work to some degree (I mean, internally, not just because they “last”). Of course to do that, those couples endure a long path of denial, discomfort and desperation at first. But then “familiarity” kicks in and more or less, things start to get a bit better.
Now I’m not saying any marriage should be kept as is, some are not recoverable, some include abusive mechanics, some involve damage for the children, some involve cheating and the trust can be never recovered again. But here your problem is none of these, and you can probably recover it. And you really should, because you want your child to not become another broken teenager with any psychological and behavioural issue, right? That is always caused by bad and unstable parenting, so you better hurry up to fix your marriage (you decided to become parents together, so now you can’t throw the responsibility of this choice on your daughter who actually didn’t ask to exist – the child comes first now).
You’re not “ungrateful” towards him though, and I think having a better marriage is something he wants too, so if you both are on the same wave about improving your marriage you can start a path through couple therapy. During those sessions, you get to tell your partner things you wouldn’t say otherwise, you argue, but then with the guidance of the therapist you learn better skills to communicate the way you feel and to appear reliable to him enough to open up to you. And viceversa. It basically helps you going through the needed arguments (too many things are hidden under the carpet at this point) and things should unfold afterwards, now with better tools to tackle the next communication issues. Probably at the moment you both don’t trust each other because you can’t open up to each other, and without trust/communication it’s normal the couple is stuck, or leads to a breakup. So that is what should be recovered. Trust takes a lot of time to rebuild because it’s not based on forgiving each other, but on learning how your partner is changed in better and won’t repeat any of the previous things that made your trust break (and as long as you remember them, like the way he reacts to things, it will be difficult to “overwrite” that with opposite signals, but that is the only way to start rebuilding that connection: it takes time and work).
You need anyway his cooperation here. And most likely a third party guiding you two (therapist / counselor) because you proven in 5 years you weren’t able to improve it alone, and the daughter is now 3 so you better not lose other time about this.

In many ways yes you are being an ungrateful bitch. In fact when you say your hours were cut elsewhere & don’t indicate you’re looking for other work or maybe considering some cheap coursework to better yourself/your opporunities you’re a lazy ingrate.

1) You chose to get married to someone that was essentially a complete stranger. You weren’t 15, you were 25 at least. Deemed an adult in every country around the world.

2) You say that your husband works all week long whereas instead of looking for another job you sit on your ass now that your current job has limited your hours.

3) You resent your husband for taking ‘last minute trips’ but when you say he works all the time these are likely business trips not luxury trips he is making for the hell of it.

4) You begrduge child for needing babycare / care. You chose not to use birth control & have a child. Nobody kidnapped you & held you in a remote shed for 9 months.

5) Hours were cut. TALK to your husband about a potential course to better yourself, NOT sit on your backside and whine to strangers.

I always say this to people, marriage is a commitment and having a child is a permanent change. Before you even get together, you need to have difficult conversations about the future. You need to know where you stand on some issues as well. You said it yourself, he’s a hard-worker who provides for his family. Your problem with him is his lack of availability, which I think can be worked on with some better planning.

The problem I have with a lot of modern women is when they marry a man who is very busy, then try to change his schedule to suit them. If you want someone who is preoccupied, you’re gonna have to accept their situation and not complain about it. Do you think that men prefer to work over seeing their family? Of course not, but certain sacrifices have to be made in order for everyone to live. I don’t know about your financial situation, but it doesn’t make much of a difference in this situation. Either he’s a blue collar worker who works hard to make money for his family, or he’s a successful and busy man with a difficult schedule that allows his family to have a comfortable life. Regardless of the two, someone has to take the fall and it’s usually the man.

If he does make more than enough, then you probably don’t need childcare as you can stay at home and take care of the children. That will allow you to not worry about work, so you will have less stress in your life. If you are living paycheck to paycheck, then I would understand why you have the job and in that situation there’s not really much that you can do about the situation.

Remember that it’s always about the children, they come first. You already made your decisions and I think that even if you did decide to leave him, you are only going to make things worse for yourself and your child. Therefore, it will be a lot better if you learn how to appreciate what you have rather than complain about the situation. We all have our breaking points, but you said that he hasn’t treated you badly even when YOU did which I say is rare to find in a person. Be more grateful.

“The problem I have with a lot of modern women is when they marry a man who is very busy, then try to change his schedule to suit them. If you want someone who is preoccupied, you’re gonna have to accept their situation and not complain about it. Do you think that men prefer to work over seeing their family? Of course not, but certain sacrifices have to be made in order for everyone to live. I don’t know about your financial situation, but it doesn’t make much of a difference in this situation. Either he’s a blue collar worker who works hard to make money for his family, or he’s a successful and busy man with a difficult schedule that allows his family to have a comfortable life. Regardless of the two, someone has to take the fall and it’s usually the man.”

You are extremely right. My boyfriend works stupidly long hours & his workload has increased even more. One of the first things I said to him when we started dating is, I’m not going to be demanding your attention when you are at work / working on a project.

I don’t. During his work hours I send him 2-4 texts – good morning, a midday hug / kiss emoji, a hope day is going well, and maybe an inquiry about how the day is going. After work we have some conversations, usually texting or on the phone, and leave it at that.

Does this limited conversation mean there’s less affection or anything. No. It means I’m considerate. I don’t want to be bothering him with silly things.

When we first started dating he’d push himself to come visit me. After the last time when he looked like he was going to pass out I flat out side forget it, from now on I’ll make the trip to your house / city (we’re living apart now) until the foreseeable future when living together.

I am busy myself. I have a career & I am in the midst of opening a small online business. But between the two of us I am less busy. So I make the “sacrifice” of a trip.

@APrettyLittleLady87 Happy to hear that. Glad you are both making it work, he’s a lucky man for sure!

Are you ungrateful? Maybe. Honestly, you sound more childish than ungrateful.

Here’s the thing, you did all of those things willingly. No one forced you to marry this man in 5 months, then have his child. Sounds like he works to support you 2, and you choose to insult him because you are upset with YOUR choices.

Whether you have a connection or not, you made a baby with this man. That child is not yours, it is both of yours. And if you choose to break up the family, because you were to “young”, let’s be honest, stupid. Then you are incredibly selfish. Especially if you expect him to pay child support to you while you go find yourself.

If you want a career, a child isn’t stopping you, but it will make it harder. Well, I guess you should have thought about that. You need to “man up” stop being such a pussy, and accept the world you have built for yourself, and try to make the best of it. Study at night to find a good job in tech somewhere. Most of the time you don’t need a degree. Nothing is stopping you but laziness.

I assure you, you won’t find much better out there as a single mother, especially if the men hear your full story. I know I would be out the door.

I think you need to talk about how you feel and go through marriage counseling. Marriage isn’t always easy and there are hard times.

It takes work to make it work. I think your best days are ahead when you can work through this

How about do the things you did together the first 6 months plus baby sitter

Its not uncommon for men not to be big on commutation, naturally we speak only when there is a reason. This is just how men are by nature, we solve problems and if there is any bonding to be had it is going to be thou solving problems.

Its women who want to talk all the time for the sake of talking and bonding. For many if not most guys, this doesn’t make any sense. As such if he does it at all he may feel its a chore. A a new hard to understand demand upon what little time he has on the weekends to be home.

Likewise in most traditional cultures both in Europe and around the world children are a woman’s responsibility. Women did not work outside of the house because raising a child as well as historically taking care of the house takes a lot of time. Indeed it was soo much work and soo costly until almost the 20th century it took a full family (grandparents included).

Its hardly shocking that our culture started to fall apart with in a generation or so of losing all that. Many of the problems we have in the west today are a direct result of soo many of us having not had that care as children.

sweetie, there is a high likelihood he just married you for permanent residency or a visa. There are a ton of illegal immigrants or foreigners who go to rich countries looking to marry so they can get a visa or live there permanently. I can across one myself when I was online dating. i also knew of another filipino guy who did the same to an American girl. They both are still married but live apart and are dating other people.

My advice is to stay away from marrying foreigners or illegal immigrants or people desperate for permanent residency. These marriages usually do not last. As soon as the government stops suspecting him of marrying for a green card, he will divorce you and be onto his real love

Yes you are ungrateful. You do not understand anything about the sacrifice he makes for your family. Your way of talking about it makes me think of a kid throwing a tantrum.

You are also an hypocrite. You complain about the challenges of having a 3 years old and a part time job but cannot think about the challenges of working during all week, away from home.

If he is away the whole week working, it is obvious he will have tons of things to do. If you want to do stuff as a couple start showing respect and stop insulting him. You need to help him in every way possible so he can make time for your couple things. You need to start by doing things for him, things that he enjoys or that will help him relax.

@sepide Yes you ARE an ungrateful bitch. Because instead of trying to make things work with your husband and the father of your daughter, you whine like a toddler.

You said that he works ALL week. Did you even ONCE consider he might want a holiday? Did you even ONCE consider he might want to go out for a nice meal? Did you even ONCE consider suggesting hey honey let’s go to the movies, let’s go bowling, etc?

There’s an oppurunity to address things, to rebuild your bond, etc.

Instead what you sound like you’re doing is sitting on your ass, doing nothing to make this relationship work, and resenting your husband for a decision YOU are EQUALLY responsible for. So BE an ADULT and TAKE responsibility for YOUR decisions. He did NOT hold a gun to your head and say come with you or I’ll kill you. YOU decided to get involved with him. YOU decided to get married. YOU decided to have a child with him.

@Sepide – you said that he was a foreigner who didn’t have a visa. Maybe before you got involved you should’ve EDUCATED yourself about his culture and their ideology towards women and children. You whine about his conduct when for all we know his behavior is NORMAL to his society and when you resent him and your situation your ability to describe what you want is likely terrible.

I mean my husband is a foreigner, he’s not American. I KNOW what I was getting involved with because I know his society / cultural ideology as well as I know my own. We have a GOOD relationship even though we likewise got married early because I AM an ADULT.

I take responsibility for my decisions, not blame everyone else and the world like you’re doing.

Why did you marry outside of you’re race?

This question is a good example why people shouldn’t mix each should marry their own race.

No I’m not a racist!

@Watson2010 Yes you ARE racist. Because no where did I say he wasn’t of my race. If you weren’t, you wouldn’t have spouted nonsense about “why did you marry outside of your race”.

Anyway I married outside of my race due to love. We’re a very good pair, we get along fabuously. I’ve been to his country many times BEFORE we even met and I enjoy it. It is superior than you.

Excuse me I am a white American citizen. HOW DARE YOU CALLED ME RACIST NO I AM NOT!
His county what is he Hispanic , Asian?
Well honey he is only using you for that Visa once your useless husband gets it he will dump you lol

FYI I’m a LDS member of the church. I live a better life then you. I’ve been to the temple and I must say I live a better life then you. Unlike you non LDS woman who you bonce from guy to guy got drink in college and when you married you’re illegal husband you weren’t even a virgen.

FYI people of color had offended heavenly father that is why they got curse.

@Watson2010 You ARE racist. Because I never said he was not of my race initially and yet you blithered why did you “marry outside your race”. So admit you are RACIST and you won’t be a loser.

Obviously you’re a bit more than stupid what when Europeans are neither.

But he doesn’t need me for a visa, he already had his residency long before we met… they only use whores like you for visas.

@Watson2010 “Unlike you non LDS woman who you bonce from guy to guy got drink in college and when you married you’re illegal husband you weren’t even a virgen.”

I don’t drink, I don’t sleep around, and he was the first man that I slept with. Also he’s not illegal, has a PhD in engineering and between us live a better life than a miserable racist like you ever will

I am not miserable I went to the temple!!! SERVED A MISSION! AND I
I attended at BYU!

@Watson2010 Ms. Watson, you and people like you, are the reason I LEFT the LDS church. What a contemptible lack of Christlike value on judging and condemning others while standing on your temple worthy sanctimonious pedestal.
I am not 100% white. I endure racial bias deom my wifes LDS family ALL THE TIME. If temple marriage is forever, then why work hard to destroy it? Screw you and your little temple recommend.

@mobiusforniner sorry to hear that friend. Imagine being self righteous while being bigoted.

@mobiusforniner See the LDS Church and many of these minor little church groups ARE the least religious of the entire Christian faith & comically they’re very often the least educated in society.

That was very obvious when how @Watson2010 assumed that my husband was “not of my race” simply because I said he’s not American, however, if he was European he’d be “of my race” and if I was to follow her ignorant racist dogma “purer” than any of the white American mutts she calls friends.

Why are you calling Americans mutts? Now you sound a little racist.

@ChefPapiChulo ROFL. Most white LDS Church goers say they’re 100% European when more often than not they’re mixed race. Years ago there was a big thing on 23&me about this woman whose DNA was partially Italian and being an LDS church goer she all but had a stroke because according to her this was “not of her race”.

Why I called American “mutts” is because Americans are so mixed calling yourself “white” doesn’t mean much of anything. There’s Hispanics that look white, Asians that look white.

*I’m not saying Italians are mixed… that aas just an example of how whacked in the head LDS goers are, to claim another European isn’t of their race.

Because they hold onto their “iron rod” and consider themselves in the world, but not of the world. Devout members are extremely closed minded. My brother in law has a bunker and lives in fear if goverment raiding his home. Funny part was that i served as elders quorum president and ward clerk before resigning. Both high ranking local clergy levels. It revealed to me the inner workings of an empire, not of christs ministry.

The irony is that Ms. Watson will never know what those inner workings are like because women cannot serve in those positions. But she will tell everyone how awesome it is to remain blind and stupid.

Wow this has gotten confusing.

BigWhiteWolf87 OMG STOP MAKING FUN IF ME! I hope you are not laughing you’re ass of behind that screen!
Don’t laugh at me!!!

@mobiusforniner “It revealed to me the inner workings of an empire, not of christs ministry.”

More a cult designed to subugate the simple as are most cults. Why else would your brother in law have a bunker & be afraid of the authorities like any other criminal?

I’ve friends whose parents were LDS members, their children are intelligent whereas the parents truly do believe that the world is out to get them…

BigWhiteWolf87 DON’T DARE DISRESPECT THE TEMPLE! JOSEPH SMITH WAS THE HERO!!!

@Watson2010 Joseph Smith was a cultist & a heretic who started the LDS to founder his own warped religious ideology and who, if Heaven & Hell exists, now spends his eternal life in the Devil’s embrace.

@ChefPapiChulo Get the freak heck out of here NO ONE IS TALKING TO YOU AND NO ONE INVITED YOU INTO HER COMMENTS. I THIS TOPIC IS BETWEEN ME AND THIS WOMAN ! NO SHE DIDN’T ASKED FOR YOU’RE OPINION.

@mobiusforniner That was no excuse for you to leave the church now you no longer have the holly spirit and you are missing the blessing from entering the Temple.

You really need to go back to church I am sure it can all work out if you just apologize!

@mobiusforniner How you really think you’re parents feel about you no longer going to the same place in the celestial Kingdom? I feel sorry for you’re parents.
Are you and you’re wife even sealed together?

@Watson2010 im a convert, so my parents dont care. You know, because they’re not white. Lamanites or whatever.

@Watson2010 I DID NOT ask for your opinion you inferior racist example of humanity. In many ways LDS churchgoers disgust me what when your first comments was “why did you marry outside your race” when I gave no indication I had initially.

@Watson2010 sister watson, what blessings? The endowment was and remains confusing as heck. And to think i used to “donate” 10% of my gross earnings to receive such “blessings”. I never felt happy in the temple, when i was “righteous” to be there. Its a joke, sister watson. A ponzi scheme.

But alas i preach to a choir. I raise this glass of whiskey in your memory, as you continue to “endure to the end”

@mobiusforniner brave if you to find an escape from that horrible church.

I understand your point however I could not include everything in one post that you read. I also have to mention that he always takes short notice trips alone and goes where he wants when he wants so yes he does go holiday on very shirt notice I am always the one who has to cancel everything and stay home with my daughter I don’t want to keep asking my mum as she didn’t ask me to uabe a child! Yes you are correct I was the ine who decided to get involved with him but now having a 3 year old everything is on me, I even have to take time off on short notices because of him my manager is annoyed with me my hours are cut down to only 4 hours a week because of this! So I honestly don’t fell like I am a total bitch here whining!

@sepide – e always takes short notice trips alone and goes where he wants when he wants so yes he does go holiday on very shirt notice I am always the one who has to cancel everything and stay home with my daughter I don’t want to keep asking my mum as she didn’t ask me to uabe a child! Yes you are correct I was the ine who decided to get involved with him but now having a 3 year old everything is on me, I even have to take time off on short notices because of him my manager is annoyed with me my hours are cut down to only 4 hours a week because of this!

So I honestly don’t fell like I am a total bitch here whining!

Yeah you are. Because you didn’t use your head or birth control.

@sepide its over. You have a kid. Your ideas of a future and life for yourself no longer matter. All that matters is your child. She should be your focus.

I am much like you, actually. Because of the LDS faith system my wife and i got married early. It wasn’t until after having kids that she realized she hates kids and feels trapped in marriage. Its been a work in progress, with me mostly raising our kids while working harder to provide the life my wife never had… like an education. Or hobbies.
So bottom line, its not about you anymore. And if you want your marriage to succeed, you and your husband must make the compromises to ultimately so whats best for your daughter.

Marriage isn’t bliss and happiness.

Its waking up at 2am and cleaning shit from diapers. Its holding my wife after losing a pregnancy. Its watching my kids grow and become happy and self sufficient, respectable people.

@mobiusforniner Exactly. She has a child. That should be her paramount focus and instead she is jealous of her husband & seemingly resents the life that she chose to be involved in. Nobody forced her to get married, she chose to get married.

What I am curious about is her seeming resentment of her husband. It’s not even for a legitimately seemingly good reason – it’s not like he’s cheating, drug addiction, alcholism, or the like. She could easily ask him – hey honey when you go on one of these trips, maybe we can make it a family adventure.

Unless, of course, these last minute trips he goes on are actually work related — which when she says he works all week I’m willing to bet they are — and in that case he has his priorities far more straight than she does trying to support their family.

I mean she says she apparently only works 4 hours. Look for another job.

BigWhiteWolf87 THE FOCUS IS ON ME !!!
OH MY THAT VULGAR PROFANITY LANGUAGE.

I AM BETTER THEN YOU AND THAT MEN IS MENTALLY DERANGED CHOOSING YOU!
I AM HUMBLE I AM KIND. YOU ARE A HORRIBLE EVIL DEMONIC HUMAN BEING!!!
Just book a ticket to Utah and come say those things face to face!
You are a sinner! Yes I am better then you because you are not a member of the church all you worldly people. Look at that horrible profanity such disgusting language.

@mobiusforniner Did you get excommunicated?

Is that why you have so much hate on the truth church?

BigWhiteWolf87 I am way more humble then you’re disgusting evil demonic little butt !

You drink coffee ☕ even dough it’s bad for you.

I don’t drink coffee either which make me better human then you.

I served a mission. I bet you never served a mission because you are a selfish demon !

@ChefPapiChulo I know you have a huge crush on me.
And you wish you were married to me.

Sorry I am LDS I can’t be with non LDS members.

BigWhiteWolf87 ChefPapichulo is so super obsessed with me. And he wish I was his wife.
You need to shut up KAREN!
YOU YOU’RE NAME IS KAREN!!!

BigWhiteWolf87 STOP TALKING TO Sepide!!!

IM TALKING TO YOUR DISGUSTING FACE!
YIU ARE Lucky YOUR DREADFUL LITTLE BUTT DOESN’T LIVE IN Utah IF IT DID I WOULD BE CALLING MY LAWYER !!!

@mobiusforniner and I hope you didn’t revolve the temple secrets to non members.
Why did you decide to live? Or did you get excommunicated?

@mobiusforniner WOW SERIOUSLY ! you said the S word. I am not surprised the devil takes over and your blessings will go away once you live the church.

You’re wife is no longer happy and she hates children BECAUSE SHE NO LONGER HAD THE HOLLY SPIRIT !
I bet your wife was to lazy and selfish to even served a mission.

I am going to take a picture of your comment and used as an example at younger womans that way they know what happens when you live the church.

@mobiusforniner I feel sorry for your wife’s parents. You’re wife had the beautiful blessings to be born into LDS church member parents and she ruin it.

What a shame seriously.

Did we just witness a full on meltdown?

@Watson2010 no, I quit at my own initiative. And the temple secrets are on youtube, sister watson. Its not exactly “secret”. Which also begs the question, why would our Savior, who wants all sheep to return home, make it such that only those sheep who know the secret masonic handshakes can make it past the veil? Its no different than a club initiatory, it gives members a special bond over something vague that nobody really understands. Tell me how making covenants to kill yourself (they since stopped this) is okay in the temple while. suicide is a cardinal sin?

But of course you’re not allowed to view or read things that the general authorities tell you not to, so you wouldn’t know.

You mistake me for being angry. I am not angry, sister watson, and my life is much happier. I have more time with my family now than ever before. Interesting how a church focused on family would rob my time and money from them. As a career adult and serving as clerk, i was never home and my family suffered.

My life has prospered way more than before. Both me and ny wife are happier. And you know the funny part is, her family hates it. They actually look for every reason to prove im miserable, because for them, proving their belief system true is more important than their childrens happiness.

That, is just a tiny reason of many, on why I left.

Life is a journey and experience, sister watson. I wish you well

Can we stop calling each other sister and brother

@ChefPapiChulo LOL. Its a mormon thing. She knows why.

@Watson2010 “YIU ARE Lucky YOUR DREADFUL LITTLE BUTT DOESN’T LIVE IN Utah”

My uncle is a lawyer in Utah. Owns a 3,000 acre ranch, inherited it from his father a lawyer & local politian. He’d eat you & LDS family kicking & screaming for lunch and shit out the bones by dinner.

In fact he has seen to putting LDS members in jail and takes great pleasure in doing so what when the average LDS chapter are little more than cultists, have limited morals why else do they believe in marrying children to old coots & ethics as per authentic Christianity or normal American society.

BigWhiteWolf87 YOUVAND YOUR DISGUSTING USELESS UNCLE SHOULD HAVE DIED DURING COVID. I AM SURE A LOT PEOPLE WOULD BE HAPPY FOR YOUR DEATH!
No one would missed you. Oh please your uncle needs to live Utah HE DOESN’T BELONG IN Utah!

Oh please I make more money then you’re ugly face.

BigWhiteWolf87 Why is there an ethist living in Utah. It’s rare how you ethist people don’t drink 🍻.
Woman you are blind Hispanics people are dark color skin!!!

@Watson2010 Sweetheart take your medication. You’re so against authentic Christian behavior with your comments that it is absolutely disgusting. Wishing death on others, how filthy and verminlike to say as someone who goes on about being better than others.

I honestly think she’s a troll. While I dont endorse the LDS faith, her online behaviors are very unrepresentative of most Mormon people.

@mobiusforniner & @ChefPapiChulo if she’s not a troll she’s most definitely in need of professional help and daily medication. I’ve met LDS & Mormons in real life and she is something else

that is sad but i had a feeling he only married you for that citizenship visa… you are quite spontaneous. it’s never ever a good idea to marry that young of age, and also never ever a good idea to marry someone you have only been with for 4-5 months… that’s a quarter of year and a like.01% of your life lol. terrible… and now you have a kid holding you two together so you’ll be bonded for life. this is quite the situation to try to get out of.

i just feel like he definitely robbed you of any happiness of how life should be because he was selfish and only wanted a visa. take your baby, leave, live back at home or something, and start rebuilding.

You took a gamble and lost by the sounds of it but so did he. He’s from overseas so I’m assuming he doesn’t get contact with his family as often as he’d like because now he’s away working to support his family.

If there’s no connection or you’ve just fallen out of love it’s not an easy thing to come back from but the grass isn’t always greener. Any option you choose is going to be difficult and require work to improve your quality of life. Whether you choose to do that with your husband or alone is your choice

You fucked when you had your daughter with him.
I’m sorry, but it’s the truth.

It’s not about what you want anymore, it’s about what’s best for your daughter. I don’t mean to insult you as a mother, I’m sure you already know that. But you’re not exactly in a position where you can just leave your husband and meet someone else.

Of course you could, if you want to damage your child’s stability, but that’s up to you.

I agree with the dudes saying to get counseling. That’s your best option. Learn to fall in love with him again and make it work for your kid

Your reply is reflecting a lot of hatred and bitterness maybe you should experienced this and someone else left you for another person? I never mentioned I wanted to leave and be with someone else but I do feel lonely in my marriage! I go places with my mum as if she is my husband because my actual husband is never up for it! He works hard for out family but there is no connection between us, he always takes short notice trips and go where ever when he wants but I can’t do that! and yes it is not about me anymore or what I want therefore I am trying my best to fix things for the sake of my daughter ans her mental state at such a young age! I am always gaslighted and blamed for every little thing even when I am talking to my husband trying to make understand my point calmly with a low tone I am always told to calm down or not to get angry! I just wanted to give a bit more insight before being judged so harshly and told that I “fucked”

Yeah I’m not surprised. Well you are getting old and men you’re age ranged live us and divorce us for a much younger woman.

I don’t think you’re being unreasonable, but I do think that you’re in a situation that could have been avoided.

You took a gambol in life that unfortunately didn’t work out. You will need to approach things differently to get the lifestyle you want.

Welcome to marriage. The magic wears off and reality sets in, love isn’t all dating and roses. Yes, you are ungrateful- placing blame on your husband for a life you BOTH agreed to. Marriage is commitment. Its isn’t about the pursuit of never ending happiness. I suppose this flawed concept is why do many divorce and why so many kids dont know who their parents are

Not at all you’re husband does not appreciate you.

Someone else would had gone out with bff and live the kid with their mom.

What about the house cleaning you do for him?

What about you being the only way raising the child by that I mean you are the only one who is interacting with your child.

Sounds to me that you’re just has being neglecting you. Wife needs love compassion.

He probably tough once you got married it would be all over no more dates no more romantic nights.

Do you guys even have sex?

Stop blaming yourself no you are not selfish the selfish one here is you’re husband for neglecting you! Girlfriend you have been very patient with this men.

Don’t feel guilty.

Lol. Women love to equate chores (that every single men do) with hard work. They love to act as if being stay at home was a sacrifice instead of a privilege. Feminists can repeat “mother is the hardest job” a million times, it will not make it true.

The guy had to leave for work to provide but he is neglecting the kid? Women are really kids who want their cake and eat it too. Guys need to provide but should not be busy.

It is like saying the wife is neglecting the husband because she is not with him during the week so they can enjoy their times together. Really stupid.

“you are the only one who is interacting with your child.”

Yes she has the privilege to be with the kid everyday because her husband sacrifice himself during the week to pay her bills, her lodging and her comfort along the child’s.

You are never wrong for wanting to enjoy your life. Also not wrong in wanting to leave a bad marriage. Try to communicate him that you need a change. If he is not open to it then you need to consider other options.

Can I ask where he is from? Also, does he have a big family in his home country?

Have a conversation with your husband and come up with a plan to make it happen

my buddy’s mother-in-law gets $80 an hour on the internet. She has been without work for 12 months but last month her earnings was $16778 just working at home for a few hours per week.. check out this site… www. join. hiring9. com

Go to family counseling

Watch the anime chainsaw man and look at how the main character Denji chases his dreams and apply it to your life.

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